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When Your Half-Trillion-Dollar Empire Includes a Delete Button: Elon Musk’s Masterclass in Digital Gaslighting

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The world’s first half-trillionaire has a problem. Not a small problem, like “my yacht’s helicopter pad is too small” or “I accidentally bought another social media platform.” No, Elon Musk’s problem is that 2.9 million Tesla vehicles—equipped with technology marketed as “Full Self-Driving”—are now under federal investigation for committing traffic violations that would get a … Read more

EXCLUSIVE: Tech’s Messiest Divorce: Sam Altman Publicly Hates Elon Musk But Can’t Stop Using His Ex’s App to Brag

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“I wish we could just build the better product,” sighs Sam Altman from his X (formerly Twitter) app, while drafting his 17th tweet of the day about how he totally doesn’t care about Elon Musk. In what anthropologists are now calling “the most passive-aggressive tech relationship since Steve Jobs and Bill Gates,” OpenAI CEO Sam … Read more

Bird’s The Word Again: Musk Performs Most Expensive Corporate U-Turn in History

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“Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall,” warns the Book of Proverbs, words that Elon Musk apparently discovered after spending $44 billion on a social media platform, renaming it after a letter that sounds like a rejected James Bond villain’s signature, and watching $35 billion in value evaporate faster than his … Read more

The Reality Distortion Field’s Fatal Glitch: How X Marks the Spot Where Elon’s Luck Ran Out

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In a secure underground bunker beneath an undisclosed location (probably Texas), a team of engineers works frantically to repair what might be the most important technological device of the 21st century: Elon Musk’s Reality Distortion Field Generator. The machine, which has successfully convinced millions that Musk invented electric cars, founded PayPal, and is definitely going … Read more