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SEO Is Dead: How the Algorithmic Ghosts of 2025 Outlived Their Meaning
It began, as most digital funerals do, not with a bang but with a press release. “SEO IS DEAD,” cried the headline, though most SEO “professionals” shrugged and refreshed their Google Search Console dashboards. To deny the death of SEO in 2025 is to wax nostalgic about horse-drawn carriages while AI-powered maglev pods zip silently […] More
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in Internet
The Great Social Media Temporal Divide: How TikTok Became the Oracle of Our Digital Dystopia
It was the best of apps, it was the worst of apps, it was the age of TikTok wisdom, it was the age of Instagram foolishness. In our brave new world of infinite scroll and dopamine dispensaries, a peculiar hierarchy has emerged—one where cultural relevance operates on a strict temporal caste system, and your choice […] More
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in AI
The Ministry of AI Safety: How Silicon Valley Turned Extinction Prevention Into a Business Model
In the year 2025, the Party announced that AI Safety was of paramount importance to the survival of humanity. The same week, the Party’s leading AI development companies reported record quarterly earnings from their AI Safety initiatives, while simultaneously accelerating the development of increasingly powerful AI systems. This was not a contradiction, the Ministry of […] More
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in AI
The Looking Glass Logic of Large Language Models: A Journey Through the Probability Wonderland
“But I don’t want to go among mad statisticians,” Alice might have said, had she found herself confronting the peculiar world of Large Language Models. “Oh, you can’t help that,” the Cheshire Cat would have replied, his grin widening impossibly. “We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad. The probability distributions are mad. Even the conditional probability is quite thoroughly mad.” […] More
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To Bet or Not to Bet: A Shakespearean Tragedy of Angel Investors, Ideas, and the Fatal Flaw of Startup Founder Blindness
Hark! What light through yonder pitch deck breaks? It is the East, and the idea is the sun—radiant, transformative, capable of disrupting entire industries with the mere wave of an algorithm. But soft, what founder through yonder window speaks? Ah, there’s the rub, for in that sleep of investment decisions, what dreams may come when […] More
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in AI
Down the Rabbit Hole of Artificial Incompetence: A Mad Hatter’s Guide to Why Your PhD-Level AI Can’t Make a Shopping List
“Begin at the beginning,” the March Hare might have said, if he were a product manager at OpenAI, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” But in the curious case of artificial intelligence in 2025, our digital Alice finds herself in a wonderland where the Mad Hatter can recite quantum physics […] More
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in AI
Chrome-onomics: When Perplexity, a “ChatGPT Wrapper” Thinks It Can Buy Google’s Crown Jewel
In a move that would make the Ministry of Truth’s propaganda department weep with professional envy, artificial intelligence startup Perplexity has announced its intention to purchase Google Chrome for $34.5 billion. This figure represents nearly twice the startup’s own valuation of $18 billion, proving once again that in our brave new digital world, mathematical impossibility […] More
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in Tech
Facebook’s Cookie Catastrophe: Exclusive Code Leak Reveals What Your Browser Already Knew
In a shocking revelation that has sent tremors through Silicon Valley and caused exactly zero surprise among anyone who’s ever used the internet, a bombshell piece of code allegedly from Facebook’s (now Meta) vast digital labyrinth has been unearthed. The code, elegant in its simplicity yet breathtaking in its honesty, reads: This digital haiku of […] More
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in Business
The Rise, Fall, and Zombie-Like Resurrection of Patent Trolls: How America’s Favorite Legal Parasites Evolved From Under The Bridge
In a dimly lit conference room in Delaware, in the US, a lawyer in an expensive but somehow ill-fitting suit passes a USB drive across a polished table. “It contains a patent for ‘a method of transferring digital information from one location to another,’” he whispers. “We’ve already sent demand letters to 16,000 businesses that […] More
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in Tech
Patent Trolls 2.0: The $9 Billion Industry That Innovated Nothing But Lawsuits
In a gleaming corporate office in Delaware—suspiciously devoid of any actual products—a team of attorneys is huddled around a whiteboard. They’re not designing the next revolutionary technology or solving climate change. Instead, they’re mapping out which companies to sue next over Patent #9,876,543: “A Method for Using Electronic Devices to Perform Tasks,” a patent so […] More
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in AI
AI’s Latin Quarter Crisis: Multi-Billion Dollar Models Defeated by Roman Numerals Invented Before Electricity
In a stunning development that has shaken Silicon Valley to its core-processing units, researchers have confirmed what Roman centurions have suspected for millennia: today’s most advanced AI Large Language Models cannot reliably interpret or generate Roman numerals. The same systems that supposedly threaten human civilization struggle with a counting system mastered by average third-graders and […] More
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in AI
The Codex Paradigm Shift: OpenAI’s Revolutionary Tool That Absolutely Isn’t Just GPT Wearing Hipster Glasses
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one following the “throw AI spaghetti at the wall” strategy of modern tech companies, OpenAI has once again pivoted to the next big thing that will definitely change everything forever this time: Codex. The AI system promises to transform software programming by doing what developers have been […] More
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in AI
The Great GPT Gold Rush: OpenAI’s Digital Ghost Town Where AI Dreams Go to Hibernate
In a stunning display of technological anticlimax that rivals the launch of Google Glass and the Segway combined, OpenAI’s much-heralded GPT Store has transformed from “the future of AI ecosystems” to “that thing we all forgot existed faster than you can say ‘paradigm shift.’” The digital storefront that promised to revolutionize how we interact with […] More
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in AI
AI’s Hidden Power Addiction: How Your Chatbot’s Electricity Bill Could Bankrupt a Small Nation
In a stunning display of technological efficiency, the artificial intelligence industry has managed to solve one of humanity’s most pressing problems: what to do with all that surplus electricity we apparently have lying around. While some naive environmentalists worried about reducing power consumption to combat climate change, Silicon Valley’s brightest minds have heroically discovered how […] More
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