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The $10 Billion Nothing Machine: How Thinking Machines Lab Convinced Silicon Valley to Pay $2 Billion for a PowerPoint and a Dream

In what may be the most impressive magic trick since David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear many moons ago, former OpenAI CTO...

The Great Scrum Extinction: How AI Is Finally Eliminating the Tech Industry’s Most Beloved Meeting Generators

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what tech industry analysts are calling "the most predictable technological disruption...

The MVP Transformation: How Model Context Protocol (MCP) is Turning AI Benchwarmers into Digital Superstars

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Labs, May 2025 - In what analysts are calling the most significant...

Google AI Mode: The Ultimate Plan to Kill the Internet While Pretending to Save It

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! We have uncovered a conspiracy so vast, so meticulously engineered, that it...

MCP Revolution: How AI’s Awkward Outcasts Became the Most Popular Kids in the Digital High School

TechOnion Labs, May 4, 2025 - In what can only be described as the tech equivalent of a 1980s teen movie makeover montage, the Model...

USB-C for Your Soul: Silicon Valley’s Latest Plan to Outsource Your Brain to the Cloud via MCP

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Labs - In a move that surprised absolutely no one who's been...

Model Context Protocol (MCP): The AI Industry’s Latest Solution to Problems It Created (And Five New Ones We Didn’t Need)

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Lab - In a move that shocked exactly no one, Anthropic has...

The QWERTY Immortality Syndrome: How the World’s Most Mediocre Technology Outlasted 8 U.S. Presidents, 17 iPhones, and Your Will to Live

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In a world where technology evolves faster than startup founders can pivot...

AI Customer Service Evolution: Hallucinating Policies and Perfecting the Digital Hard Sell

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what industry experts are calling "the most impressive advancement in automated...

UAE Entrusts Legal System to AI: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Ask Trump’s $2 Trillion Tariff Disaster!)

In what can only be described as the boldest move since Elon Musk decided Twitter needed fewer employees and more chaos, the United Arab...

USB Cable Apocalypse: How The Tech Industry Turned Connecting Things Into An Existential Crisis

In a world where technological progress supposedly makes our lives easier, the humble USB cable stands as humanity's greatest monument to deliberate confusion. What...

Loneliness Apocalypse Solved: Tolan Now Selling Alien Best Friends for $14 a Month

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what can only be described as humanity's most ingenious solution to...

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