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The $10 Billion Nothing Machine: How Thinking Machines Lab Convinced Silicon Valley to Pay $2 Billion for a PowerPoint and a Dream

Tech
In what may be the most impressive magic trick since David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear many moons ago, former OpenAI CTO...

The Great Scrum Extinction: How AI Is Finally Eliminating the Tech Industry’s Most Beloved Meeting Generators

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what tech industry analysts are calling "the most predictable technological disruption...

The MVP Transformation: How Model Context Protocol (MCP) is Turning AI Benchwarmers into Digital Superstars

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Labs, May 2025 - In what analysts are calling the most significant...

Google AI Mode: The Ultimate Plan to Kill the Internet While Pretending to Save It

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! We have uncovered a conspiracy so vast, so meticulously engineered, that it...

MCP Revolution: How AI’s Awkward Outcasts Became the Most Popular Kids in the Digital High School

Tech
TechOnion Labs, May 4, 2025 - In what can only be described as the tech equivalent of a 1980s teen movie makeover montage, the Model...

USB-C for Your Soul: Silicon Valley’s Latest Plan to Outsource Your Brain to the Cloud via MCP

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Labs - In a move that surprised absolutely no one who's been...

Model Context Protocol (MCP): The AI Industry’s Latest Solution to Problems It Created (And Five New Ones We Didn’t Need)

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Lab - In a move that shocked exactly no one, Anthropic has...

The QWERTY Immortality Syndrome: How the World’s Most Mediocre Technology Outlasted 8 U.S. Presidents, 17 iPhones, and Your Will to Live

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In a world where technology evolves faster than startup founders can pivot...

AI Customer Service Evolution: Hallucinating Policies and Perfecting the Digital Hard Sell

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what industry experts are calling "the most impressive advancement in automated...

UAE Entrusts Legal System to AI: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Ask Trump’s $2 Trillion Tariff Disaster!)

Tech
In what can only be described as the boldest move since Elon Musk decided Twitter needed fewer employees and more chaos, the United Arab...

USB Cable Apocalypse: How The Tech Industry Turned Connecting Things Into An Existential Crisis

Tech
In a world where technological progress supposedly makes our lives easier, the humble USB cable stands as humanity's greatest monument to deliberate confusion. What...

Loneliness Apocalypse Solved: Tolan Now Selling Alien Best Friends for $14 a Month

Tech
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what can only be described as humanity's most ingenious solution to...
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