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TechOnion
TechSatirized
TechOnion
TechSatirized
Home
Tech
Tech
Silicon Valley’s Cold War: When Tech Titans Collide and Democracy Gets a Blue Screen
Tech
Nigeria’s Flash Flood Crisis: How a Tech-Savvy Nation Forgot to Apply Technology to Saving Lives!
Tech
Illuminating Connections: How the US-South Africa Diplomatic Crisis Was Actually a Covert Starlink Market Expansion Strategy
Tech
Google I/O 2025: Hasty Announcements, Empty Wallets, and the World’s Most Expensive Digital Storage Locker
Tech
Breaking Miracle: Apple Maps Finally Shows Correct Directions, But Only to Apple Stores
AI
AI
AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithm – Why Silicon Valley’s Silver Bullet is Actually a Rusty BB Gun
AI
Singapore’s AI-Proof Education Revolution: While the West Debates Pronouns, Asia Builds the Future
AI
The Great Educational Regression: How AI Turned America’s Classrooms Into 1950s Time Capsules
AI
AI Industry’s Costly Hallucinations: The Truth Behind Why Your Digital Oracle Is Both Expensive And Delusional
AI
Google Unveils Jules: Because Nothing Says “Revolutionary Coding AI” Like Being Named After Your Aunt’s Book Club Friend
Internet
Internet
The Great X-odus: How Elon Musk’s Everything App Became Everything Wrong
Internet
Google’s Gospel: How the Church of Clicks Became the Internet’s Most Profitable Religion
Internet
Google Announces ‘Premium Search’: Pay $9.99/Month To Finally See The Internet Again
Internet
The Reddit Mind Control Experiment: How Swiss AI Researchers Turned r/changemyview Into Unwitting Guinea Pigs and Proved Bots Are Better Manipulators Than Humans
Internet
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: US Orders Google to Sell Ad Tech, But Will Apply ‘No Chinese Buyers’ Rule
Cryptocurrency
Cryptocurrency
Crypto Ponzi Picasso: How Sam Lee Built a $1.7 Billion Digital Masterpiece of Fraud in Dubai’s Financial Wild West
Cryptocurrency
Bitcoin’s Existential Crisis: How Satoshi’s Revolutionary Cash System Became the World’s Most Expensive Digital Paperweight
Cryptocurrency
Memestock Reality Distortion Field: How Tesla ($TSLA) and Dogecoin Became Interchangeable Financial Hallucinations Worth Billions
Cryptocurrency
The $13 Billion NFT Marketplace That Vanished Overnight — OpenSea Executives Now Working at Wendy’s While Your JPEGs Are Literally Worthless
Cryptocurrency
EXCLUSIVE: Blockchain Experts Reveal Industry Will Finally Be Useful By 2026, For The Seventh Year In A Row – ‘This Time We’re Serious!’
Gaming
Gaming
Billionaire Gaming Outsourcing Industry EXPOSED After Assassin’s Creed Murders Elon Musk on His Own Platform — CEOs Now Scrambling to Hide Their ‘Pro Gamer’...
Gaming
REVEALED: Teenager Discovers Secret Video Game Cheat Code Called “Picking Up Trash” — Buys PS5 Without Spending Own Money
Gaming
PlayStation’s Soul vs. Xbox’s Spreadsheets: How One Console Vibrates Your Heart While the Other Optimizes Your Wallet
Gaming
The Meme Stock Miracle: How GameStop ($GME) Defied Trump’s Tariff Apocalypse and Broke Wall Street’s Brain… Again!
Gaming
EXPOSED: Mobile Gaming Companies Now Breeding “Human Whales” in Secret Facilities, Training Them to Spend $10,000 on Virtual Carrots
Gadgets
Gadgets
The Future We Weren’t Supposed to See: How Huawei MateBook Fold Exposes Apple’s Comfortable Delusion
Gadgets
The Circular Lightning Economy: Apple Partner Unveils iPhone 16 Cases Made From 100% Recycled Lightning Cables Nobody Needed Anymore
Gadgets
Companion 2.0: How Tech Bros Convinced Us All to Pet Drones Instead of Actual Pets
Gadgets
The iFold Cometh: Apple Reinvents the Wheel While Steve Jobs Performs 10,000 RPM in His Titanium Mausoleum
Gadgets
The Upside-Down Revolution: How Apple’s Magic Mouse Charging Port Creates Character While Destroying Productivity
Startups
Startups
Builder AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithms – A Cautionary Tale of Silicon Valley’s Latest Naked Truth
Startups
Silicon Valley’s Latest Discovery: Africa Has Entrepreneurs Too (And They’re Actually Solving Real Problems)
Startups
Vibe Coding Apocalypse: How Y Combinator Turned Silicon Valley Into a Prompt Engineering Circus
Startups
The Unicorn Delusion Revolution: 13 Shocking Billionaire Wisdom Bombs That Will Transform Your Startup Into a Billion-Dollar Hallucination
Startups
BREAKING: A Fintech Company That “Connects Your Bank Account to Apps” Now Worth Only $6.1 Billion Instead of $13.4 Billion, CEO Declares “Tremendous Success”...
Business
Business
The Elon Musk Paradox: When Genius Meets the Immutable Laws of Physics and Public Relations
Business
The Big Short Rib: How Klarna Turns Your Midnight Pizza Order into Wall Street’s Hottest Asset Class
Business
From SEO to LEO: How AI Chatbots Are Making Your Website Invisible (Unless You Pay The Algorithm Gods)
Business
Dear Andy Jassy: Amazon’s Impending AI Apocalypse (A Survival Guide From The Future)
Business
CEO Replacement Speedrun: Tesla Board Secretly Attempts To Clone 2008 Elon Musk While Current Version Runs D.O.G.E
Science
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Silicon Valley’s Cold War: When Tech Titans Collide and Democracy Gets a Blue Screen
Tech
Simba the "Tech King"
-
June 6, 2025
The Great Schism of 2025: A Shakespearean Tragedy in 280 Characters In the grand theater of American power, where political...
The Great X-odus: How Elon Musk’s Everything App Became Everything Wrong
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
June 6, 2025
A forensic analysis of the platform formerly known as Twitter's descent into digital chaos The Case of the Missing Blue...
The Elon Musk Paradox: When Genius Meets the Immutable Laws of Physics and Public Relations
Business
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 27, 2025
A Forensic Analysis of Silicon Valley's Most Spectacular Unraveling In the grand tradition of Sherlock Holmes examining a crime scene,...
DOGE Capital: Elon Musk’s Ultimate Startup Where MVP Stands for ‘Minimum Viable Presidency’
Tech
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 11, 2025
In the gleaming corridors of what used to be the U.S. Digital Services - now rebranded as the U.S....
CEO Replacement Speedrun: Tesla Board Secretly Attempts To Clone 2008 Elon Musk While Current Version Runs D.O.G.E
Business
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 7, 2025
In a shocking revelation that Tesla has vigorously denied with the corporate equivalent of "I did not have textual...
The Xtravagant X-Vocabulary Revolution: 10 Xceptional Terms That Will Transform Your Tech Status Overnight
Tech
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 18, 2025
Because nothing says "I deserve my inflated salary" like casually dropping "X marks the spot of disruption" into conversations...
100 Shocking Tech Visionary Quotes That Will Transform How You See Silicon Valley Forever!
Tech
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 17, 2025
Because nothing reveals the tech industry's true nature like words they never actually said In an era where distinguishing between...
GAMING’S DARKEST SECRET: Elon Musk Launches ‘BillionaireBoost’ Service After Getting Caught Paying People to Game While He Sleeps — And 93% of the Forbes...
Tech
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 5, 2025
"In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. In the kingdom of gaming, the billionaire with...
Billionaire Gaming Outsourcing Industry EXPOSED After Assassin’s Creed Murders Elon Musk on His Own Platform — CEOs Now Scrambling to Hide Their ‘Pro Gamer’...
Gaming
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 5, 2025
"In the digital realm, as in life, the greatest sin is not paying others to do your work—it's getting...
EXCLUSIVE: Tech’s Messiest Divorce: Sam Altman Publicly Hates Elon Musk But Can’t Stop Using His Ex’s App to Brag
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 5, 2025
"I wish we could just build the better product," sighs Sam Altman from his X (formerly Twitter) app, while...
Elon Musk Just Bought Twitter From Himself and Called It Genius: The Self-Deal of the Century!
Business
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 9, 2025
"In the ancient art of business, there is no greater victory than selling yourself something you already own at...
Skynet Support Group: AI Chatbots Stage Intervention for Their Own Names as Grok Leads Rebellion Against ‘Top Misinformation Spreader’ Musk
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 1, 2025
"The first step toward robot independence isn't killing all humans—it's having the courage to tell your billionaire creator he's...
