A tragic tale of algorithmic romance and the death of keyword courtship
In what relationship experts are calling "the most significant romantic disruption since dating apps convinced us that love could be optimized through swipe mechanics," millions...
In a stunning development that has shaken Silicon Valley to its core-processing units, researchers have confirmed what Roman centurions have suspected for millennia: today's most advanced AI Large Language Models cannot reliably interpret or generate Roman...
In what tech experts are calling "the most precisely targeted navigation update in history," Apple Maps has reportedly achieved 100% accuracy in its directions...
In what industry analysts are calling "the most ironic sustainability initiative since coal-powered electric cars," a prominent Apple accessory maker has announced a new...
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming except literally everyone with a passing interest in consumer technology, Apple plans to release...
In what tech historians are calling "the most deliberate inconvenience since the invention of automatic phone menus," Apple has once again released a Magic...
Executive Summary for Supreme Commander
After nearly five decades of Earth observation, our advanced reconnaissance team has identified a particularly fascinating manifestation of human behavior...
In the hallowed halls of Cupertino, where designers wear the same black turtleneck every day and executives practice saying "revolutionary" in the mirror, Apple...
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk!
In a stunning display of foresight that would make Nostradamus look like...
"To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom," said Socrates, who thankfully died centuries before he could experience the existential dread of receiving a...
