TechOnion Originals

The Great Mobile Uprising: How the Android Peasant Revolution Finally Declared War on the Apple Aristocracy

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - June 6, 2025

In what self-appointed tech historians are already calling the most predictable conflict since the invention of comment sections, the long-simmering tensions between Android users...

The Great OS Wars: How Windows Peasants and Mac Aristocrats Destroyed Civilization While Chrome Laughed in the Background

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - June 6, 2025

In what military historians are calling "the most passive-aggressive conflict since the invention of office politics," the decades-long rivalry between Microsoft Windows and Apple's...

Apple’s Genius Tariff Solution: Why Assemble Your Own iPhone When You Can Pay More for the Privilege?

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - May 30, 2025

It was the best of times for Apple shareholders, it was the worst of times for anyone who thought...

The AI Button Revolution: How Silicon Valley Finally Solved the Problem of Having Too Many Fingers

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - May 30, 2025

The smartphone industry has reached peak innovation. After years of making phones thinner, cameras sharper, and screens more fragile,...

Napoleon’s Digital Blitzkrieg: How Modern Tech Could Have Made Russia Just Another App Download

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - May 28, 2025

A TechOnion investigation into the ultimate military disruption that never happened In what tech historians are calling the greatest missed...

JFK’s Digital Bodyguard: How Modern Tech Could Have Saved Camelot (And Created the First Presidential Influencer)

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - May 28, 2025

A TechOnion investigation into the counterfactual cybersecurity failures of 1963 In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through both...

The Leather Jacket Prophecies: An Open Letter to Jensen Huang Before Nvidia’s $3 Trillion Empire Crumbles Under the Weight of Its Own GPUs

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - May 8, 2025

Dear Jensen Huang, First, congratulations on propelling Nvidia to a $3+ trillion market cap. You've managed to convince the world...

The AGI Delusion: An Open E-mail to Sam Altman While Your Microsoft ‘Bromance’ Burns and Chinese AI Eats Your Lunch

TechOnion Originals Simba the "Tech King" - May 8, 2025

From: [email protected]: [email protected] Subject: THE AGI DELUSION! Dear Sam Altman, Congratulations are in order for successfully convincing the entire gullible world...

TechOnion Originals

About Us

Categories

Newsletter