A tragic tale of algorithmic romance and the death of keyword courtship
In what relationship experts are calling "the most significant romantic disruption since dating apps convinced us that love could be optimized through swipe mechanics," millions...
In a stunning development that has shaken Silicon Valley to its core-processing units, researchers have confirmed what Roman centurions have suspected for millennia: today's most advanced AI Large Language Models cannot reliably interpret or generate Roman...
In a groundbreaking development that has redefined the very fabric of workplace surveillance, Microsoft Teams has quietly implemented what industry insiders are calling "Schrödinger's...
The alarm sounds at precisely 4:47 AM in Tim Cook's minimalist Palo Alto residence—not 4:45, not 4:50, but 4:47, because Apple's proprietary sleep optimization...
In the spirit of investigative journalism, we present this anonymous review from a self-described "independent pharmaceutical distribution specialist" operating in Greater Manchester, United Kingdom....
The morning begins not with an alarm clock, but with a gentle notification from Google's proprietary Executive Optimization System, which has determined that Sundar...
A deep dive into the digital transformation of Britain's most entrepreneurial sector
The alarm on Jack Blackwood's iPhone 14 Pro Max chimes at precisely 6:47...
In a move that would make even the most authoritarian regimes blush, tech executives are seriously considering implementing "Internet Operating Hours" to combat what...
The curious case began, as most modern mysteries do, with a seemingly innocuous LinkedIn post. Dr. Marcus Chen, former TSMC engineer turned "AI Infrastructure...
In what self-appointed tech historians are already calling the most predictable conflict since the invention of comment sections, the long-simmering tensions between Android users...
In what military historians are calling "the most passive-aggressive conflict since the invention of office politics," the decades-long rivalry between Microsoft Windows and Apple's...
The smartphone industry has reached peak innovation. After years of making phones thinner, cameras sharper, and screens more fragile, tech giants have finally identified...
A TechOnion investigation into the ultimate military disruption that never happened
In what tech historians are calling the greatest missed opportunity in Silicon Valley venture...
