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Author: Simba the "Tech King"

TechOnion Founder - Satirist, AI Whisperer, Recovering SEO Addict, Liverpool Fan and Author of Clickonomics.

The Great Scrum Extinction: How AI Is Finally Eliminating the Tech Industry’s Most Beloved Meeting Generators

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what tech industry analysts are calling "the most predictable technological disruption...

The Attention Hunger Games: How Donald Trump’s AI Pope Stunt Proves We’re Living in a Digital Colosseum

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what digital anthropologists are calling "the most predictable development since Instagram...

The MVP Transformation: How Model Context Protocol (MCP) is Turning AI Benchwarmers into Digital Superstars

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Labs, May 2025 - In what analysts are calling the most significant...

Google AI Mode: The Ultimate Plan to Kill the Internet While Pretending to Save It

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! We have uncovered a conspiracy so vast, so meticulously engineered, that it...

MCP Revolution: How AI’s Awkward Outcasts Became the Most Popular Kids in the Digital High School

TechOnion Labs, May 4, 2025 - In what can only be described as the tech equivalent of a 1980s teen movie makeover montage, the Model...

USB-C for Your Soul: Silicon Valley’s Latest Plan to Outsource Your Brain to the Cloud via MCP

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Labs - In a move that surprised absolutely no one who's been...

Model Context Protocol (MCP): The AI Industry’s Latest Solution to Problems It Created (And Five New Ones We Didn’t Need)

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! TechOnion Lab - In a move that shocked exactly no one, Anthropic has...

The QWERTY Immortality Syndrome: How the World’s Most Mediocre Technology Outlasted 8 U.S. Presidents, 17 iPhones, and Your Will to Live

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In a world where technology evolves faster than startup founders can pivot...

AI Customer Service Evolution: Hallucinating Policies and Perfecting the Digital Hard Sell

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what industry experts are calling "the most impressive advancement in automated...

The Attention Arms Race: How China Weaponized Your Brain’s 8-Second Filter with TikTok While America Was Busy Making Content

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In the digital attention economy, content isn't just dethroned—it's been publicly executed,...

From Cord-Cutting Crusader to Digital Overlord: How Netflix Became the Cable Monster It Once Slayed

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what industry analysts are calling "the most predictable corporate metamorphosis since...

AI on Earth: Field Notes from Galactic Anthropologist X-27B (Classified Research Document)

Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! Translated from Zargonian by the Universal Linguistic Matrix Executive Summary for the High...

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