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Author: Simba the "Tech King"

TechOnion Founder - Satirist, AI Whisperer, Recovering SEO Addict, Liverpool Fan and Author of Clickonomics.

Rise and Grind: How AI is Revolutionizing the Independent Pharmaceutical Distribution Industry

A deep dive into the digital transformation of Britain's most entrepreneurial sector The alarm on Jack Blackwood's iPhone 14 Pro Max chimes at precisely 6:47...

The Great Digital Curfew: Silicon Valley’s Bold Plan to Give the Internet Bedtime Hours

In a move that would make even the most authoritarian regimes blush, tech executives are seriously considering implementing "Internet Operating Hours" to combat what...

The Empire State Building Was Built in 410 Days Without Jira: A Devastating Indictment of Modern Tech’s Project Management Theater

In a revelation that should make every Scrum Master question their life choices and every Product Owner reconsider their relationship with reality, the Empire...

The Silicon Cartel: How AI’s Arms Race Spawned the World’s Most Exclusive Black Market

The curious case began, as most modern mysteries do, with a seemingly innocuous LinkedIn post. Dr. Marcus Chen, former TSMC engineer turned "AI Infrastructure...

#1 Google I/O 2025: Hasty Announcements, Empty Wallets, and the World’s Most Expensive Digital Storage Locker

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Q2tezIm9jtvhcUzAmt4Z9?si=01TC1sU2Sn-8EF4eMjjEKg

British Gentleman Falls for AI Jennifer Aniston Romance Scam: When Proper Tea Etiquette Meets Digital Deception

In what may be the most quintessentially British tragedy since someone suggested putting pineapple on a proper Sunday roast, a 67-year-old gentleman from Gloucestershire...

Grammarly’s $100 Million Superhuman Acquisition: The Desperate Grammar Police’s Last Stand Against AI Extinction

In a move that reeks of corporate desperation disguised as strategic innovation, Grammarly has announced its acquisition of Superhuman AI for a reported $100...

The Cursed Fig: How Figma’s IPO Might Be the Most Biblical Tech Disaster Since Apple

The design software world is buzzing with news that Figma has filed for its long-awaited IPO, planning to trade under the ticker symbol "FIG"...

The Schrödinger’s Entrepreneur: Cluely’s Roy Lee’s Quantum Superposition Between Content Creation and Corporate Leadership

In the peculiar wonderland of modern digital entrepreneurship, where the boundaries between entertainment and enterprise have become as blurred as a TikTok filter, we...

Google’s AI Overviews: When Artificial Intelligence Becomes an Artificial Witness

How Google's Hallucinating AI Just Became Aviation's Most Unreliable Crash Investigator The Ministry of Truth would be proud. In a world where information flows through...

The 49% Solution: How Meta and Mark Zuckerberg Discovered the Regulatory Equivalent of “Just the Tip”

In which Silicon Valley's finest legal minds prove that antitrust law is really just a creative writing exercise! The most brilliant minds in Silicon Valley...

ChatGPT’s Outages: The Ultimate Product/Market Fit Flex That Nobody Asked For

In which we discover that server downtime has become Silicon Valley's newest form of humble-bragging The Great Digital Tantrum of 2025 When ChatGPT experiences even the...

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