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Author: Simba the "Tech King"

TechOnion Founder - Satirist, AI Whisperer, Recovering SEO Addict, Liverpool Fan and Author of Clickonomics.

Breaking Up With Chrome: DOJ’s Plan to Separate a Digital Power Couple 20 Years After Their First Date

In a sweeping act of regulatory Internet Explorer-level timing, the Department of Justice announced last week that Google must sell Chrome, its popular web...

Apple Intelligence: The AI That’s Smart Enough to Know It Isn’t Ready Yet

In a sleek auditorium filled with tech journalists and influencers, Apple CEO Tim Cook stands before a giant screen displaying the words "Apple Intelligence."...

The Voluntary Matrix: How We’re Building Our Own Digital Prison Cells With a Smile

In a gleaming laboratory beneath Silicon Valley, scientists put the finishing touches on "NeuroPod 3000" – a sleek, egg-shaped chamber designed to sustain human...

The Hallucination Factory: As AIs Run Out of Facts to Consume, Companies Perfect the Art of Convincing Lies

In a sleek conference room high above Silicon Valley, executives from the world's leading AI companies gather for what they've code-named "Operation Plausible Deniability."...

The Last Click: A Requiem for SEO in the Age of AI Overviews

In a dimly lit basement in Silicon Valley, a support group meets weekly. The participants, mostly middle-aged men in faded "I ♥ Backlinks" t-shirts,...

The $600 Billion Slip of the Tongue: How China Discovered NVIDIA’s Kryptonite While Boycotting Its CEO

In a historic moment of technological karma, Chinese AI startup DeepSeek has accomplished what billions in US export controls couldn't: making NVIDIA CEO Jensen...

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