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Author: Simba the "Tech King"

TechOnion Founder - Satirist, AI Whisperer, Recovering SEO Addict, Liverpool Fan and Author of Clickonomics.

The Great iStorage Conspiracy: How Apple Convinced Us to Rent Our Own Memories

"A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure," goes the old adage. Similarly, a...

The Vibe Economy: How AI Convinced Everyone They Have Skills They Don’t

"The greatest skill of the 21st century is not coding or marketing, but confidently nodding along while AI does both for you," famously never...

Vibe Marketing: When Corporations Discovered Feelings and Decided to Monetize Them

"Man is by nature a social animal," Aristotle once famously observed, blissfully unaware that in 2025, Silicon Valley would rebrand human connection as "vibe...

The Great Reddit App Massacre: How a Website Declared War on People Who Made It Usable

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime....

The Great Messaging War: Telegram vs. WhatsApp in the Battle for Your Data’s Soul

"Two messaging apps enter, no privacy leaves," declared the ancient digital proverb, etched into the silicon of our first smartphones. In the blue corner,...

LLMs: The Religion You Didn’t Know You’d Joined

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist," said Verbal Kint in "The Usual Suspects." Similarly, the greatest...

Cybertruck Recall: Tesla’s Latest Attempt to Make Driving Exciting Again

"To err is human, to recall is divine," said Alexander Pope, or at least he would have if he had lived to see Tesla's...

Agentic AI: When Your Digital Assistant Develops a God Complex

"I think, therefore I am," declared René Descartes, blissfully unaware that centuries later, a piece of software would not only think but also decide...

The Great Electric Vehicle Delusion: A Guide to Joining the Cult of Cord-Powered Transportation

"The future is electric," they say, conveniently forgetting that the past was also electric until we realized burning dinosaur juice was more fun. Welcome...

Starlink’s African Conquest: Musk’s Satellite Empire Expands, One Dictatorship at a Time

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime....

Starlink: Elon Musk’s Celestial Spam Network

"The sky's the limit," they said, blissfully unaware that Elon Musk would take this as a personal challenge to litter the cosmos with his...

AI Hallucinations: When ChatGPT Becomes Your Personal Stephen King

"I think, therefore I am," declared René Descartes, blissfully unaware that centuries later, an AI chatbot would think, therefore it would accuse innocent Norwegians...

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