27.4 C
New York

Author: Simba the "Tech King"

TechOnion Founder - Satirist, AI Whisperer, Recovering SEO Addict, Liverpool Fan and Author of Clickonomics.

The WhatsApp Miracle: How a Simple Chat App Conquered Africa While Silicon Valley Was Busy Reinventing the Wheel

In a shocking development that continues to baffle Silicon Valley's brightest minds, WhatsApp—an app that commits the cardinal sin of actually working as advertised—has...

The Tale of Two APIs: How DocuSign and Calendly Convinced the World That Basic Software Functions Were Worth Billions

It was the best of times for venture capitalists, it was the worst of times for anyone trying to understand why clicking a button...

The Great Intelligence Leveling: How AI Companies Discovered the Genius of Making Humans Dumber

Down the rabbit hole of artificial intelligence development, where logic twists like a Möbius strip and common sense becomes as elusive as a Cheshire...

The Musk Illusion: How Silicon Valley’s Greatest Magician Turned “Disruption” Into a $200 Billion Shell Game

There exists in the annals of Silicon Valley a most peculiar case—one that has baffled investors, regulators, and rational observers alike for the better...

“We’re Building the Future”: A Translation Guide for VC-Funded Delusions

In the gray, sterile halls of corporate power and the coffee-scented open-plan offices of venture-backed startups, a new language is spoken. It is a...

AGI is the Tech Bro’s Rapture: Why It’s Never Coming

It is a curious feature of the modern age that every belief system, no matter how ancient, eventually finds its way to Silicon Valley...

Decoding Elon Musk’s Latest Tweet: A Cry for Help or Just Bad Tacos?

The offices of TechOnion, much like the internet itself, possess a peculiar hum—a low-grade thrum of existential dread mixed with the scent of burnt...

The Gospel of Sam Altman: Why the CEO of OpenAI is the Joel Osteen of Silicon Valley

Hark, what light from yonder data center breaks? It is the East, and Sam Altman is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the...

Sundar Pichai’s Algorithmic Existence: How Google’s CEO Lives Inside His Own Search Results

The morning begins not with an alarm clock, but with a gentle notification from Google's proprietary Executive Optimization System, which has determined that Sundar...

How Airtable Discovered That $400 Million ARR Isn’t Enough When Everyone Else Has AI Chatbots

In the peculiar realm of Silicon Valley, where logic often takes a backseat to whatever buzzword is trending on Product Hunt, a most curious...

The Great AI Reasoning Hoax: How Silicon Valley’s $1 Trillion AGI Dream Just Hit a Potemkin Wall

The curious case of artificial intelligence reasoning has taken a most peculiar turn. What began as a straightforward investigation into machine learning capabilities has...

Google Search 2025: How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Our Digital Overlords

The transformation of Google Search from 2013 to 2025 represents one of the most elegant exercises in what might be called "progressive usability optimization"—a...

Recent articles

spot_img