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Author: Simba the "Tech King"

TechOnion Founder - Satirist, AI Whisperer, Recovering SEO Addict, Liverpool Fan and Author of Clickonomics.

SHOCKING: HR Tech Giants, Rippling and Deel, Now Offer “Corporate-Espionage-as-a- Service” After Secretly Testing It on Each Other

"The difference between corporate espionage and competitive research is whether you get caught hiding in the bathroom." - Sun Tzu's The Art of Startup...

SHOCKING: eToro Going Public Just as AI Trading Bots Make Human Traders Obsolete — 74% of Investors Don’t Know They’re Copying People Who Will...

"In the future, there will be two types of people: those who tell computers what to do, and those who are told by computers...

EXPOSED: 12 Startups Racing to IPO Before AI Makes Them Completely Worthless — Number 7 Will Make You Cry For Their Investors

"The only thing more tragic than a business made obsolete by technology is a business that goes public the day before it becomes obsolete."...

REVEALED: Secret Tech CEO Club Admits They’re Just Playing Hot Potato With Worthless Companies — “The Last Investor Holding The Shares Is The True...

"The greatest trick the tech industry ever pulled was convincing the world that losing money is actually a form of growth." - Warren Buffett's...

EXCLUSIVE: Africa Gets AI Factory That Will Fix Everything (Except Electricity, Corruption, and Jumia’s Stock Price)

In a groundbreaking announcement that has tech enthusiasts reaching for their smartphones and electricity company executives reaching for their resignation letters, Zimbabwe's own tech...

SHOCKING: New Study Reveals 83% of “Disruptive” Startups Just Reinvented the Wheel With Apps and Buzzwords

"The greatest innovation in Silicon Valley isn't technology—it's convincing venture capitalists that adding an app to an existing business model is worth a $50...

BREAKING: “Dumb Money” Film Nominated for Nobel Prize in Economics After Viewers Finally Understand the Stock Market – “It’s Just Gambling With Fancier Words”

"The greatest achievement of 'Dumb Money'1 isn't that it made the GameStop saga understandable – it's that it finally exposed that the entire financial...

Silicon Valley FURIOUS After 14-Year-Old Creates $0.50 Cancer Solution Without A Single Line of Code

"The future of cancer treatment will be AI-driven, data-focused, and venture-backed to the tune of billions." said every Tech CEO for the past decade! In...

Spotify Unveils “DeadArtist.AI” – Now Paying Musicians $0.000001 Per Stream Because “They Should Be Grateful We’re Not Napster”

"The dream of every tech platform is to have all the content and none of the creators." - Silicon Valley Proverb In a groundbreaking announcement...

The Bluetooth Lady’s Last Words: ‘AI Will Never Replace Me,’ Says Woman Whose Voice Is Already In Your Toaster

"Ze Bluetooth dewise ees weady to paiw!" - The voice in your fake airpods that has achieved more global recognition than most Oscar winners. In...

Fake It, Bank It, Pardon It: New Donald Trump Initiative Transforms Fraud into America’s Most Disruptive Business Model

In an unprecedented move that has Silicon Valley buzzing, US President Donald Trump launched "Operation Second Chance," a ground-breaking initiative that will transform US...

EXCLUSIVE: Theranos Founder, Elizabeth Holmes, Launches “Pardon-Me-Now” Crowdfunding Campaign to Raise $2 Million for “Completely Innocent” Dinner with Trump at Mar-a-Lago

In what financial experts are calling "the most honest fraud she's ever committed," disgraced Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes has reportedly begun raising $2 million...

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