“Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do,” remarked Oscar Wilde over a century ago, blissfully unaware that one day humans would voluntarily bring their jobs into bathroom stalls, wedding ceremonies, and funeral services via pocket-sized supercomputers permanently grafted to their sweating palms.
Welcome to 2025, where the most coveted job title is no longer “CEO” or even “AI Architect,” but “Prompt Engineer” – the first profession in human history that can genuinely claim to function entirely from a mobile phone. Unlike the BlackBerry warriors of yesteryear who merely pretended to work while thumbing out grammatically questionable emails, today’s prompt engineers are creating value, solving problems, and reshaping reality through nothing more than carefully crafted text messages to artificial intelligence.
The Liberation of Location
According to a completely fabricated study by the International Institute for Workplace Mobility, prompt engineers spend an average of 37% of their working time on toilets, 22% in moving vehicles, 18% while ostensibly paying attention to their children’s recitals, and a surprising 7% while actively engaged in intimate activities with their partners.
“Traditional jobs required arbitrary constraints like ‘being at a desk’ or ‘looking at a screen larger than six inches,'” explains fictional workplace futurist Dr. Eleanor Wright. “Prompt engineering has liberated us from these archaic limitations. Now, you can generate a quarter-million-dollar marketing campaign while simultaneously evacuating your bowels – true multitasking at last.”
Tech CEOs are reportedly thrilled with this development. “The human body contains approximately two million sweat glands, and historically, most of them have been tragically underutilized during working hours,” notes fictional Alphabet CEO Sundar Pichai. “When prompt engineers work from their phones while jogging, we’re finally maximizing human biological efficiency.”
The Sacred Text Box
The elegant simplicity of prompt engineering has created what sociologists are calling the “Great Text Box Liberation” – the ability to perform complex professional tasks through nothing more than typing instructions to AI in a simple rectangle.
“My entire workday consists of copying and pasting text between apps,” boasts fictional prompt engineer Marcus Chen, who commands a $375,000 salary. “I can literally generate six-figure value while standing in line at Starbucks. Yesterday I created a comprehensive go-to-market strategy for a Fortune 500 company while my toddler was having a meltdown at Target. I just needed one hand for my phone and used the other to occasionally pat him on the head.”
The fictional American Association of Device Manufacturers estimates that 94% of prompt engineers have developed a specialized thumb callus they proudly call their “money maker,” while 87% report the ability to compose complex AI instructions without looking at their screen, using muscle memory alone.
“I once dropped my phone in a hot tub but continued working underwater for 17 minutes before retrieving it,” claims fictional senior prompt engineer Jessica Reynolds. “The client never knew the difference, though the AI did start generating weirdly aquatic metaphors toward the end.”
The End of “Sorry, I’m Not at My Computer”
The most revolutionary aspect of phone-based prompt engineering is the death of the classic excuse “I’ll handle that when I’m back at my computer.” This long-standing get-out-of-work-free card has been rendered obsolete in a world where your entire professional capacity fits in your pocket.
“We’ve eliminated approximately 4.7 million hours of procrastination annually,” declares fictional productivity consultant David Singh. “That awkward pause when someone asks you to do something complicated and you pretend you need a ‘real computer’ to accomplish it? Gone forever. Your phone and an AI are now officially as powerful as any workstation, and everyone knows it.”
This development has led to what the entirely made-up Work-Life Boundary Institute calls “extreme occupational porosity” – the complete dissolution of boundaries between professional and personal spaces.
According to their non-existent study, the average prompt engineer now works in 47 different locations weekly, including:
- Public restrooms (100% of respondents)
- During their children’s birthday parties (96%)
- In movie theaters (93%)
- During religious services (84%)
- While actively driving, despite this being both dangerous and illegal (79%)
- During their own wedding ceremony (12%)
“The true impact is psychological,” explains fictional workplace psychologist Dr. Michael Thompson. “When you genuinely can work anywhere, the corollary is that you should work everywhere. We’re seeing prompt engineers develop what we call ‘Idle Thumb Anxiety’ – the pathological fear of having two unoccupied hands in any setting.”
The Great Micro-Workstation Arms Race
As prompt engineering from phones becomes normalized, a bizarre ecosystem of micro-workstations has emerged. The fictional company PocketOffice now sells a $799 “Prompt Engineer Pro Kit” that includes finger-strengthening equipment, specialized thumb braces, and a bathroom-specific phone holder that attaches to toilet paper dispensers.
“Our best-selling product is the ‘Conference Concealer’ – a hollow Bible or hardcover book where you can hide your phone during meetings while you continue to work on more important projects,” explains fictional PocketOffice CEO Sarah Martinez. “We also offer the ‘Shower Prompter’ – a waterproof phone case with voice-to-text capability so you can engineer prompts while shampooing.”
Not to be outdone, fictional tech giant Apple has released the iPhone 17 Pro Prompt Engineer Edition, featuring a specialized keyboard optimized for AI instructions and a “Stealth Mode” that makes your screen appear to be displaying a spreadsheet while you’re actually crafting prompts.
“We’ve developed technology that can detect when someone is looking over your shoulder and automatically switches your screen to a boring email,” boasts fictional Apple VP of Engineering Jonathan Park. “Our research showed prompt engineers spend 43% of their family dinner time secretly working, so we’ve optimized for that use case.”
The Bodily Function Renaissance
Perhaps most surprisingly, the ability to work entirely from a phone has created what cultural anthropologists are calling a “Bodily Function Renaissance” – a new era where previously private physiological activities have been reclaimed as productive time.
“Bathroom breaks have been transformed from necessary productivity gaps into prime working windows,” explains fictional efficiency expert Dr. Amanda Garcia. “Our research shows the average prompt engineer now extends their toilet sessions by 340% compared to pre-AI workers, citing the ‘peaceful thinking environment’ and ‘lack of interruptions.'”
This has led to a 217% increase in hemorrhoid diagnoses among prompt engineers, according to the completely fabricated American Association of Proctologists. Multiple Fortune 500 companies now reportedly include hemorrhoid cream in their benefits packages specifically for their prompt engineering teams.
“We’ve seen a dramatic workplace redesign trend where companies are installing luxury toilet cubicles with enhanced Wi-Fi, ergonomic seating, and extended privacy features,” notes fictional workplace design consultant Thomas Wilson. “Some forward-thinking tech companies have even installed treadmill toilets, allowing prompt engineers to simultaneously address three biological needs: elimination, exercise, and income generation.”
The Unexpected Twist
As our exploration of this new mobile work revolution concludes, a curious countertrend has emerged. According to the fictional Global Association of Prompt Engineers, an underground movement called “The Disconnectors” has begun to gain popularity within the profession.
These rogue prompt engineers deliberately use desktop computers fixed to specific locations, work only during designated hours, and – most shockingly – completely power down their devices during personal time.
“It started as an act of rebellion,” explains fictional prompt engineer and Disconnector founder Rebecca Chen. “I bought this ancient device called a ‘desktop computer’ on eBay, connected it to something called a ‘wall socket,’ and only worked when sitting in front of it. Everyone thought I was insane, until they noticed something strange: my work was better.”
Studies by the totally imaginary Institute for Professional Boundaries found that Disconnector prompt engineers produced 42% more creative outputs, experienced 67% less burnout, and reported 89% higher life satisfaction compared to their always-connected peers.
“We’ve come full circle,” observes Chen. “We thought the ultimate freedom was working from anywhere, but it became working from everywhere, which is actually no freedom at all. True liberation isn’t carrying your job in your pocket – it’s being able to walk away from it completely.”
And so, in the final ironic twist, the profession that pioneered true mobile work is now pioneering its opposite: deliberate immobility, intentional disconnection, and the radical act of leaving your phone in another room.
As fictional prompt engineering guru James Miller puts it: “The next frontier isn’t fitting more work into smaller devices and stranger locations. It’s rediscovering the revolutionary concept of work-free spaces – like toilets that are just for shitting.”
