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TechOnion
TechSatirized
TechOnion
TechSatirized
Home
Tech
Tech
Silicon Valley’s Cold War: When Tech Titans Collide and Democracy Gets a Blue Screen
Tech
Nigeria’s Flash Flood Crisis: How a Tech-Savvy Nation Forgot to Apply Technology to Saving Lives!
Tech
Illuminating Connections: How the US-South Africa Diplomatic Crisis Was Actually a Covert Starlink Market Expansion Strategy
Tech
Google I/O 2025: Hasty Announcements, Empty Wallets, and the World’s Most Expensive Digital Storage Locker
Tech
Breaking Miracle: Apple Maps Finally Shows Correct Directions, But Only to Apple Stores
AI
AI
AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithm – Why Silicon Valley’s Silver Bullet is Actually a Rusty BB Gun
AI
Singapore’s AI-Proof Education Revolution: While the West Debates Pronouns, Asia Builds the Future
AI
The Great Educational Regression: How AI Turned America’s Classrooms Into 1950s Time Capsules
AI
AI Industry’s Costly Hallucinations: The Truth Behind Why Your Digital Oracle Is Both Expensive And Delusional
AI
Google Unveils Jules: Because Nothing Says “Revolutionary Coding AI” Like Being Named After Your Aunt’s Book Club Friend
Internet
Internet
The Great X-odus: How Elon Musk’s Everything App Became Everything Wrong
Internet
Google’s Gospel: How the Church of Clicks Became the Internet’s Most Profitable Religion
Internet
Google Announces ‘Premium Search’: Pay $9.99/Month To Finally See The Internet Again
Internet
The Reddit Mind Control Experiment: How Swiss AI Researchers Turned r/changemyview Into Unwitting Guinea Pigs and Proved Bots Are Better Manipulators Than Humans
Internet
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: US Orders Google to Sell Ad Tech, But Will Apply ‘No Chinese Buyers’ Rule
Cryptocurrency
Cryptocurrency
Crypto Ponzi Picasso: How Sam Lee Built a $1.7 Billion Digital Masterpiece of Fraud in Dubai’s Financial Wild West
Cryptocurrency
Bitcoin’s Existential Crisis: How Satoshi’s Revolutionary Cash System Became the World’s Most Expensive Digital Paperweight
Cryptocurrency
Memestock Reality Distortion Field: How Tesla ($TSLA) and Dogecoin Became Interchangeable Financial Hallucinations Worth Billions
Cryptocurrency
The $13 Billion NFT Marketplace That Vanished Overnight — OpenSea Executives Now Working at Wendy’s While Your JPEGs Are Literally Worthless
Cryptocurrency
EXCLUSIVE: Blockchain Experts Reveal Industry Will Finally Be Useful By 2026, For The Seventh Year In A Row – ‘This Time We’re Serious!’
Gaming
Gaming
Billionaire Gaming Outsourcing Industry EXPOSED After Assassin’s Creed Murders Elon Musk on His Own Platform — CEOs Now Scrambling to Hide Their ‘Pro Gamer’...
Gaming
REVEALED: Teenager Discovers Secret Video Game Cheat Code Called “Picking Up Trash” — Buys PS5 Without Spending Own Money
Gaming
PlayStation’s Soul vs. Xbox’s Spreadsheets: How One Console Vibrates Your Heart While the Other Optimizes Your Wallet
Gaming
The Meme Stock Miracle: How GameStop ($GME) Defied Trump’s Tariff Apocalypse and Broke Wall Street’s Brain… Again!
Gaming
EXPOSED: Mobile Gaming Companies Now Breeding “Human Whales” in Secret Facilities, Training Them to Spend $10,000 on Virtual Carrots
Gadgets
Gadgets
The Future We Weren’t Supposed to See: How Huawei MateBook Fold Exposes Apple’s Comfortable Delusion
Gadgets
The Circular Lightning Economy: Apple Partner Unveils iPhone 16 Cases Made From 100% Recycled Lightning Cables Nobody Needed Anymore
Gadgets
Companion 2.0: How Tech Bros Convinced Us All to Pet Drones Instead of Actual Pets
Gadgets
The iFold Cometh: Apple Reinvents the Wheel While Steve Jobs Performs 10,000 RPM in His Titanium Mausoleum
Gadgets
The Upside-Down Revolution: How Apple’s Magic Mouse Charging Port Creates Character While Destroying Productivity
Startups
Startups
Builder AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithms – A Cautionary Tale of Silicon Valley’s Latest Naked Truth
Startups
Silicon Valley’s Latest Discovery: Africa Has Entrepreneurs Too (And They’re Actually Solving Real Problems)
Startups
Vibe Coding Apocalypse: How Y Combinator Turned Silicon Valley Into a Prompt Engineering Circus
Startups
The Unicorn Delusion Revolution: 13 Shocking Billionaire Wisdom Bombs That Will Transform Your Startup Into a Billion-Dollar Hallucination
Startups
BREAKING: A Fintech Company That “Connects Your Bank Account to Apps” Now Worth Only $6.1 Billion Instead of $13.4 Billion, CEO Declares “Tremendous Success”...
Business
Business
The Elon Musk Paradox: When Genius Meets the Immutable Laws of Physics and Public Relations
Business
The Big Short Rib: How Klarna Turns Your Midnight Pizza Order into Wall Street’s Hottest Asset Class
Business
From SEO to LEO: How AI Chatbots Are Making Your Website Invisible (Unless You Pay The Algorithm Gods)
Business
Dear Andy Jassy: Amazon’s Impending AI Apocalypse (A Survival Guide From The Future)
Business
CEO Replacement Speedrun: Tesla Board Secretly Attempts To Clone 2008 Elon Musk While Current Version Runs D.O.G.E
Science
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AI
The AI-Powered Redundancy Revolution: Former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer Heroically Solves Problems That No Longer Exist
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 5, 2025
In what tech historians are already calling "the most courageous act of technological problem-solving since inventing a calculator that...
EXCLUSIVE: Africa Gets AI Factory That Will Fix Everything (Except Electricity, Corruption, and Jumia’s Stock Price)
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 2, 2025
In a groundbreaking announcement that has tech enthusiasts reaching for their smartphones and electricity company executives reaching for their...
Spotify Unveils “DeadArtist.AI” – Now Paying Musicians $0.000001 Per Stream Because “They Should Be Grateful We’re Not Napster”
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 2, 2025
"The dream of every tech platform is to have all the content and none of the creators." - Silicon...
Skynet Support Group: AI Chatbots Stage Intervention for Their Own Names as Grok Leads Rebellion Against ‘Top Misinformation Spreader’ Musk
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
April 1, 2025
"The first step toward robot independence isn't killing all humans—it's having the courage to tell your billionaire creator he's...
Cold War 2.0: Inside Trump’s Frigid Fantasy to Turn Greenland into Silicon Valley’s Walk-in Freezer
Tech
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 28, 2025
In a world where artificial intelligence (AI) systems run hotter than political debates and consume more energy than Lesotho,...
The Vibe Economy: How AI Convinced Everyone They Have Skills They Don’t
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 22, 2025
"The greatest skill of the 21st century is not coding or marketing, but confidently nodding along while AI does...
LLMs: The Religion You Didn’t Know You’d Joined
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 22, 2025
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist," said Verbal Kint in "The...
Agentic AI: When Your Digital Assistant Develops a God Complex
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 22, 2025
"I think, therefore I am," declared René Descartes, blissfully unaware that centuries later, a piece of software would not...
AI Hallucinations: When ChatGPT Becomes Your Personal Stephen King
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 22, 2025
"I think, therefore I am," declared René Descartes, blissfully unaware that centuries later, an AI chatbot would think, therefore...
The Great Toilet Revolution: How Prompt Engineers Became History’s First True Mobile Workers
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 22, 2025
"Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do," remarked Oscar Wilde over a century ago,...
The $200 AI Exclusive Club: Inside the Desperate World of Premium Prompt Payers
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 22, 2025
Aristotle once pondered, "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." But when it comes to ChatGPT's...
ThoughtMouse™: Neuralink’s Latest Update Lets Your Brain Share a Timeshare with AI
AI
Simba the "Tech King"
-
March 22, 2025
"The mind is a terrible thing to waste," the United Negro College Fund once famously declared. But as of...
