35.4 C
New York

Tech

BREAKING: Lonely People Discover AI Chatbots like ChatGPT; Scientists Discover Water Is Wet

In what may be the least surprising scientific discovery since researchers confirmed that bears do indeed defecate in wooded areas, OpenAI and MIT scientists...

EXCLUSIVE: Tech’s Messiest Divorce: Sam Altman Publicly Hates Elon Musk But Can’t Stop Using His Ex’s App to Brag

"I wish we could just build the better product," sighs Sam Altman from his X (formerly Twitter) app, while drafting his 17th tweet of...

SHOCKING: How Streaming Giants Performed The Ultimate Heist – Turning Internet Pirates Into Paying Customers While Actually Stealing Your Music Collection

In a world where owning nothing is the new everything, let us pause to remember a time when digital rebellion wasn't a monthly subscription...

EXPOSED: The Great VPN Conspiracy – How Tech Companies Convinced Suburban Office Workers They Need Protection From North Korean Hackers

Have you ever wondered why you're paying $12.99 a month to route your cat video searches through a server in Romania? Or why that...

EXCLUSIVE: “iPhone Has a Soul, Google Pixel Has a Spreadsheet” – How Apple Convinced Us Their Phone Contains 3 Grams of Actual Human Spirit...

In a world where rectangles of glass and aluminum compete for our attention and wallets, have you ever wondered why some tech products make...

TECH CEOs BEND THE KNEE, GET STABBED IN THEIR STOCK PRICE: Multi-Trillion Dollar Sacrifice to Donald Trump Altar Rewarded With Economy-Crashing Tariffs That Would...

In what financial analysts are calling "the most expensive case of unrequited love in corporate history," America's tech titans have discovered that even after...

“Learn To Code,” They Said: How Big Tech Convinced Millions To Become Programmers Just In Time To Be Replaced By AI That Understands Your...

In what historians will surely record as the tech industry's most elaborate practical joke, venture capitalists and tech corporations spent a decade if not...

BREAKING: A Fintech Company That “Connects Your Bank Account to Apps” Now Worth Only $6.1 Billion Instead of $13.4 Billion, CEO Declares “Tremendous Success”...

In an age where tech valuations make as much sense as airplane food, fintech darling Plaid announced yesterday that it has secured $575 million...

BREAKING: VC Obsessed With ‘Shinise’ Businesses Asks Startup to Imagine 100-Year Plan, Founder Has Existential Crisis After Realizing ‘AI-Enabled Blockchain for Pets’ Won’t Solve...

In a devastating blow to startup culture everywhere, venture capitalist Samantha Richards shocked the Silicon Valley ecosystem yesterday by asking a simple question that...

GROUNDBREAKING: Scientists Create Computer That Works Like Human Brain (Neuromorphic Computing), Immediately Forgets What It Was Doing and Starts Watching Cat Videos

In what experts are calling "the most ambitious act of technological self-sabotage in human history," computer engineers have successfully developed neuromorphic computing systems that...

EXCLUSIVE: Quantum Computing Finally Solves World’s Biggest Problems, Says Scientists Who Need More Funding

Have you ever wondered if all of humanity's problems could be solved by making computers really, really cold? That's the promise of quantum computing,...

REVEALED: OpenAI Gives Students Free ChatGPT Plus, Harvard Study Shows 99% of Finals Essays Now Identical – “At Least They’re All A+ Quality,” Says...

In what industry experts are calling "the most transparent attempt to hook young minds on AI since Facebook started giving free internet to India,"...

Recent articles

spot_img