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TechOnion
TechSatirized
TechOnion
TechSatirized
Home
Tech
Tech
Silicon Valley’s Cold War: When Tech Titans Collide and Democracy Gets a Blue Screen
Tech
Nigeria’s Flash Flood Crisis: How a Tech-Savvy Nation Forgot to Apply Technology to Saving Lives!
Tech
Illuminating Connections: How the US-South Africa Diplomatic Crisis Was Actually a Covert Starlink Market Expansion Strategy
Tech
Google I/O 2025: Hasty Announcements, Empty Wallets, and the World’s Most Expensive Digital Storage Locker
Tech
Breaking Miracle: Apple Maps Finally Shows Correct Directions, But Only to Apple Stores
AI
AI
AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithm – Why Silicon Valley’s Silver Bullet is Actually a Rusty BB Gun
AI
Singapore’s AI-Proof Education Revolution: While the West Debates Pronouns, Asia Builds the Future
AI
The Great Educational Regression: How AI Turned America’s Classrooms Into 1950s Time Capsules
AI
AI Industry’s Costly Hallucinations: The Truth Behind Why Your Digital Oracle Is Both Expensive And Delusional
AI
Google Unveils Jules: Because Nothing Says “Revolutionary Coding AI” Like Being Named After Your Aunt’s Book Club Friend
Internet
Internet
The Great X-odus: How Elon Musk’s Everything App Became Everything Wrong
Internet
Google’s Gospel: How the Church of Clicks Became the Internet’s Most Profitable Religion
Internet
Google Announces ‘Premium Search’: Pay $9.99/Month To Finally See The Internet Again
Internet
The Reddit Mind Control Experiment: How Swiss AI Researchers Turned r/changemyview Into Unwitting Guinea Pigs and Proved Bots Are Better Manipulators Than Humans
Internet
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: US Orders Google to Sell Ad Tech, But Will Apply ‘No Chinese Buyers’ Rule
Cryptocurrency
Cryptocurrency
Crypto Ponzi Picasso: How Sam Lee Built a $1.7 Billion Digital Masterpiece of Fraud in Dubai’s Financial Wild West
Cryptocurrency
Bitcoin’s Existential Crisis: How Satoshi’s Revolutionary Cash System Became the World’s Most Expensive Digital Paperweight
Cryptocurrency
Memestock Reality Distortion Field: How Tesla ($TSLA) and Dogecoin Became Interchangeable Financial Hallucinations Worth Billions
Cryptocurrency
The $13 Billion NFT Marketplace That Vanished Overnight — OpenSea Executives Now Working at Wendy’s While Your JPEGs Are Literally Worthless
Cryptocurrency
EXCLUSIVE: Blockchain Experts Reveal Industry Will Finally Be Useful By 2026, For The Seventh Year In A Row – ‘This Time We’re Serious!’
Gaming
Gaming
Billionaire Gaming Outsourcing Industry EXPOSED After Assassin’s Creed Murders Elon Musk on His Own Platform — CEOs Now Scrambling to Hide Their ‘Pro Gamer’...
Gaming
REVEALED: Teenager Discovers Secret Video Game Cheat Code Called “Picking Up Trash” — Buys PS5 Without Spending Own Money
Gaming
PlayStation’s Soul vs. Xbox’s Spreadsheets: How One Console Vibrates Your Heart While the Other Optimizes Your Wallet
Gaming
The Meme Stock Miracle: How GameStop ($GME) Defied Trump’s Tariff Apocalypse and Broke Wall Street’s Brain… Again!
Gaming
EXPOSED: Mobile Gaming Companies Now Breeding “Human Whales” in Secret Facilities, Training Them to Spend $10,000 on Virtual Carrots
Gadgets
Gadgets
The Future We Weren’t Supposed to See: How Huawei MateBook Fold Exposes Apple’s Comfortable Delusion
Gadgets
The Circular Lightning Economy: Apple Partner Unveils iPhone 16 Cases Made From 100% Recycled Lightning Cables Nobody Needed Anymore
Gadgets
Companion 2.0: How Tech Bros Convinced Us All to Pet Drones Instead of Actual Pets
Gadgets
The iFold Cometh: Apple Reinvents the Wheel While Steve Jobs Performs 10,000 RPM in His Titanium Mausoleum
Gadgets
The Upside-Down Revolution: How Apple’s Magic Mouse Charging Port Creates Character While Destroying Productivity
Startups
Startups
Builder AI: The Emperor’s New Algorithms – A Cautionary Tale of Silicon Valley’s Latest Naked Truth
Startups
Silicon Valley’s Latest Discovery: Africa Has Entrepreneurs Too (And They’re Actually Solving Real Problems)
Startups
Vibe Coding Apocalypse: How Y Combinator Turned Silicon Valley Into a Prompt Engineering Circus
Startups
The Unicorn Delusion Revolution: 13 Shocking Billionaire Wisdom Bombs That Will Transform Your Startup Into a Billion-Dollar Hallucination
Startups
BREAKING: A Fintech Company That “Connects Your Bank Account to Apps” Now Worth Only $6.1 Billion Instead of $13.4 Billion, CEO Declares “Tremendous Success”...
Business
Business
The Elon Musk Paradox: When Genius Meets the Immutable Laws of Physics and Public Relations
Business
The Big Short Rib: How Klarna Turns Your Midnight Pizza Order into Wall Street’s Hottest Asset Class
Business
From SEO to LEO: How AI Chatbots Are Making Your Website Invisible (Unless You Pay The Algorithm Gods)
Business
Dear Andy Jassy: Amazon’s Impending AI Apocalypse (A Survival Guide From The Future)
Business
CEO Replacement Speedrun: Tesla Board Secretly Attempts To Clone 2008 Elon Musk While Current Version Runs D.O.G.E
Science
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Internet
AI
Business
Cryptocurrency
Gadgets
Gaming
Science
Startups
Tech
The Great X-odus: How Elon Musk’s Everything App Became Everything Wrong
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
June 6, 2025
A forensic analysis of the platform formerly known as Twitter's descent into digital chaos The Case of the Missing Blue Bird In what may be the...
Google’s Gospel: How the Church of Clicks Became the Internet’s Most Profitable Religion
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
June 2, 2025
In which we examine how advertising transformed the web from humanity's greatest library into humanity's most sophisticated slot machine The internet was supposed to be...
Google Announces ‘Premium Search’: Pay $9.99/Month To Finally See The Internet Again
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 11, 2025
In what company executives are calling "the natural evolution of the search experience," Google has unveiled its long-rumored Premium...
The Reddit Mind Control Experiment: How Swiss AI Researchers Turned r/changemyview Into Unwitting Guinea Pigs and Proved Bots Are Better Manipulators Than Humans
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 7, 2025
In a truly groundbreaking discovery that absolutely no one saw coming except literally everyone who has spent more than...
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: US Orders Google to Sell Ad Tech, But Will Apply ‘No Chinese Buyers’ Rule
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 7, 2025
In a stunning plot twist that absolutely no one at the Department of Justice saw coming, forcing Google to...
The Attention Hunger Games: How Donald Trump’s AI Pope Stunt Proves We’re Living in a Digital Colosseum
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 4, 2025
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what digital anthropologists are calling "the...
The Attention Arms Race: How China Weaponized Your Brain’s 8-Second Filter with TikTok While America Was Busy Making Content
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 2, 2025
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In the digital attention economy, content isn't...
From Cord-Cutting Crusader to Digital Overlord: How Netflix Became the Cable Monster It Once Slayed
Internet
Simba the "Tech King"
-
May 2, 2025
Warning: This article may contain traces of truth. Consume at your own risk! In what industry analysts are calling "the...
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